Single Speed Dissemination Requests Autonomy:

Effective shortly and without further notice the Misfit Psycles Corporation would like to make it clear that all information concerning product developments, availability, surprises and other such information will be made available to you on an as needed to know basis.

Information Validation by the Empire:

Regrettably the information provided in the past has potentially been rendered inaccurate by the omnipotent fact finding of a few fact-based scientists that may have time to look for things.  
Of course these factitionists tend to ignore the alpha fact that facts were rendered completely immaterial with the invention of the internet (the internet is a division of the Misfit Psycles Empire, any and all information on the internet or any of its subsidiaries (paper and word of mouth) is the property of the Misfit Psycles Corporation…except for the stuff with kids and hermaphrodites).

Singlespeed Hipster and the Root of All that will be:

Information on the newly revised MISFIT PSYCLES LESS TEMPORARY website in the next 72.

Product updates will be updated tri-weekly at the PSYCLESTORE.  
The LATEST update concerns diSSent inventory, which is now worse then it was yesterday – not that there was any assumption or precipitous that the situation would improve.

We would like to encourage you to sign up for the PSYCLESTORE Newsletter or, in the least, check for updates all by your lonesome on the main page.
WE ARE ATTEMPTING TO AVOID DUPLICITOUS POSTINGS THROUGH THE VARIOUS OUTLETS.  That is all. 

Empire Claims Multiple Darkside Conversions:

Enough rhetoric.

Important events transposed themselves on the Court recently.

Please note: NO Photoshoppe tricks or stunt riders were used during this shooting spree.

Little to no sleep of late as the Empire continues to churn and sputter forth.  

As if having the Hottest Topic’s in terms of this whole single-speed fling wasn’t enough, the Empire continually toils daily and regularly often to drum you up the next THAT’S IT. 

We, the KNOWING, need to tell you what you want when you are ready to look for it, ideally without your knowing that you were wanting or even looking before you’re ready.  

This high stakes form of Jedi Mind Control (or subliminal marketing to the PC) is a talented obligation that the Empire takes entirely very seriously.  
For example:  

That is NOT the frame you are looking for.  
Here is THE frame you desire.

One wrong transmission of such a product inclination and the intended target becomes paranoid and invidious.  
Good deeds begin to appear clandestine.

Immediately the intended quarry questions every aspect of the relationship.
Support or Sabotage.
Friend or Foe.

“…it’s the duty of every real American to be on the lookout for goldbricks, pinko’s and fellow travelers. ‘Course without the likes of Americans like you the jobs of Americans like me would be a lot more difficult. But don’t get me wrong, Americans like me like difficult jobs. So don’t get the idea you’re doing the CIA any favors. We don’t really need Americans like you, we don’t need anybody.”

Col. Flagg

Of course, misappropriation of desire to a specifically desired audience through the unwitting endorsement of a third party apparent opponent can potentially garner the misappropriator with remuneration (based not on a genuine marketing initiative) but through an implied exclusivity and admirable doses of mainstream individuality.

That is REWARD, with or without intentionally determining to dismantle the opposition all the while deconstructing defenders as planned.

DISSENT INVENTORY CRITICAL

This is not psychological passive aggressive salesmanship.

At THIS moment there are MORE 19″ frames in various stages of prep, finish and packaging then what remains in stock…
17″ frames are not far behind. 

Stock frames, bars and goodies will be enroute to SeaOtter later this week for the great LIKIN BIKIN sale…it is highly recommended that you contact Dan if you want to secure one of the frames.

Expert spokespeople for the Tickle Me Marketing Department (a division of Misfit Psycles) anticipate the impending subprime inventory level to further ELEVATE product desirability throughout the entire Misfit Psycles line.  

With the (Medium and Large) frame shortages anticipated to last well into July, collectors - aficionados - glory holers, are all leaping forth unto the Psycle Band Wagon.

The PSYCLESTORE will resist temptation to increase the cost of frames from their currently insanely reasonable level of 385usd.
COASTERS of Death continue to fly off the shelf, any and all rises in cardboardular deaths and coasterifying incidents are mere coincidence.  Suffice it to say, if the bad people have coasters…why shouldn’t you? 

Don’t let your quest to own individuality end – pick your camp and ALLEZ;

• Pro Dicky –  diSSent.  THE Most EXCLUSIVE and Personally Satisfying Team Dicky Slaughter Ride of Champions. 
• Anti Dicky -  diSSent.  THE Most EXCLUSIVE and Personally Satisfying Team Dicky Slaughter Ride of Champions.  

See what you missed yesterday, TODAY!

Things have been dumpy lately.
Serious even a little.  Almost.

“Seriousness and religion is a mosque for self importance, cronyism, power mongering, influence peddling and corruption…”

Of course I was only reminded of this dopple of Chelsea goodness because I was spinning away and attempting to enduring this super confrontational edition of NightLine Faceoff.

Pafuckingthetic.

Aside from the most sickening narration and hosting (since INTERBIKE).  The main premise of the NAY squad was diametrically in opposition to The Empire “healthy people don’t NEED Satan”.

It’s not enough to BELIEVE…each and EVERY one of you MUST support SATAN.
Deepak, reconsider your position or the Empire will be forced to support the hooker (or hookers if that be the case).

Plans to begin Northern testing of the super-sonic and infinitely quiet STEALTH HUBS are proceeding with less trepidation today. 

Confusion and disbelief concerning the IES™ (Instantaneous Engagement System), although discussed and dismissed earlier HERE, seemed a temporarily appropriate front for delay once the actual COST of the product was unveiled.

You get what you pay for, you get what you pay for, you really can’t afford it.

Further convoluting the financial conflict is the disparity between the True Precision Components Dealer/Wholesale Pricing Sheet and the True Precision Direct Buy Page.
Even at the full SRP (as opposed to direct pricing), dealers will need to focus on the mechanical “Long live the LBS” chanting zealots to aggressively* explore this avenue.

INDUSTRY RANT:

Not unfamiliar to this dilemma, even the great Corporation of Dingle must continually run the gamut of DEALER pricing versus WHOLESALE pricing versus RETAIL pricing all within the context of SURVIVAL.

A manufacturer must design, produce and market their product (at least initially) entirely without the support of mainstream outlets (in this case bike shops*).  
During this time the manufacturer (assuming the sort with the a-typical fiscal constraints of mortals) MUST continue to finance the development and marketing of the aforementioned products (oft times the brand in general).  

One doesn’t have to be a business scientist or an online degree generator at the U-of-Pee to know that the ONLY (legal) way to do this is through revenue generation – aka – SALES.

SALES can be made directly or handed over to a third party for fulfillment…reducing margins, complicating logistics and inconveniencing consumers.
The former better finances the ultimate goal and retains 100% of their efforts.  The latter is a further ‘investment’ and typically results in only an 80-85% retention of sales.  The latter is often a luxury.

Direct sales are a natural bi-product of small business and brand development.

Furthermore, without an appropriate following, manufactures will need (at least initially) to be more aggressive with retail pricing.  Reduced retail pricing in spite of higher initial costs, makes the disparity between dealer cost and retail pricing even greater – sometimes equal.  

* There are two kinds of ‘dealers’.  Aggressive dealers STOCK product and proactively SELL a brand.  Passive dealers PURCHASE product to fulfill customer requests (requests typically generated by the manufacturer).

This scenario shall serve as sufficient justification and clearly applies in the context of Stealth Hubs (True Precision), afterall, Todd Ackert his-self was forced to attend the Toronto (International) Bike Show…in March…a truly sucky gig for a Southern Californian.

The Empire intends to place an order for some Stealthy goodness.  

The Empire reminds you, support good people and good products or they will become bitter hostile Empires bent on world domination or world destruction.

Pricing for this buy of love will be no greater than the Direct Buy Page - possibly below – so long as we can generate an order of no less than 5 hubs to offset shipping.

PRICING:

• “Poacher” Single Speed MTB Hub (Disc, QR or Bolt axle) $400us
• “Poacher” Front MTB Hub (Disc, QR axle) $155us
• Additional Cogs (14-18) $35us
• DEALER/TEAM pricing not currently available

TERMS:

• Orders are PPD
• Prices do NOT include taxes (CAN/ON)
• Hubs are BLACK only
• Less then 5 (total) and you all need to go direct

Email NOW if you want to co-ordinate a Poacher with your next shipment from the PsycleStore.

Back to the Empire and Emperoring.
Hubs soon firmly in hand…the Empire will begin preparations for the much anticipated Showdown in Brecktown.

Loud and Obnoxious VERSUS Stealth and Princely.

NOTE:
Yes.  The Empire is quite aware of the fact that in IMAGE 1 the Spy responsible for the Stealthy tests on the tundra is WHITE and that in IMAGE 2 the vile Dickasaurus is represented by the semi-same WHITE Spy.  

The Empire would like to remind those of you confused by the duplicity that we are so all powerful that we can actually control our clothing’s pigment, easily modifying it based on the camouflage required.

We would also like to state that Dicky isn’t REALLY so much a Spy as he is ‘fall guy‘ for the much-more powerful Yazoom/Swiftswatdicky TEAM of SPIES (led partially by this marsimonkey).  Unfortunately there wasn’t a lacky versus Spy cartoon to snipe.

If you will be attending the Showdown in Brecktown and want to help Destroy Dicky please Contact Me.

If you want a Stealthy Hub, Contact Us.

If you feel the need to discuss the impending nuptials between BIKESNOB and BICYCLING.
Click The Fuck Here.

The Misfit Psycles Corporation is more then just a symptom and precipitous against change (as a representation of conformity or effort).

The Misfit Psycles Corporation is a teacher, a confidant, a veritable HERO that offers YOU advice for survival in these troubled times.

And the Misfit Psycles Corporation is a beacon of prototypical hope and excess, blazing a path with changes all of their own.  
Changes so earth shattering, so massive they had to be delayed until such a time that the world was ready.

Are you ready?

The Empire is getting a new HOME PAGE.  April 2009
The Empire is talking exotic DEATH METAL. June 2009

Change for the better is evolution.
Change for the man is survival.
Change to free you of your money is capitalism.  
Capitalism can only be spelled: M-I-S-F-I-T-P-S-Y-C-L-E-S.

Change is a reflection of the times…for better for worse.

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. 
Carl Jung

RAP for beginners circa then:

Nothing in this video that couldn’t be solved by a bag of Zesty Cheese.

RAP for beginners circa now;

Biz sounds more Kenneth then Kingpin…his head is so melted he can’t remember the words.

This was bad.  Enticement.

Caveo Liberi.

This is bad.  Entrapment.

Senilis Caveo.

It’s official.  These kids don’t stand a chance.

The Empire has the solution; kill your television and dump the buggers on the street.

Next up.  
LIKIN BIKIN and the Sea Otter Specials finalized.