Some time ago but not entirely that long enough, on a healing ride of sorts, I became somemore enamoured by my Awesome Strap.

Not outwardly of course.

Gushing forth about a particular product comes across as contrived, scripted;
‘these are paid actors discussing really possible scenarios‘.

For on this ride, far far from home, my Awesome Strap, this Awesome strap of mine, held fast in it’s velcric clutches, the evenings eventual savior.

To some, a mere inner tube.
To my friend Craig, a polymer pardon.

Sure there were other offers of other tubes.
Big ones, little ones, burly ones and light ones.  None, none of the other tubes, be they big, little, burly or light, could be removed and offered as quickly as the Awesome Tube*.

* Any item contained within or by the Awesome Strap may utilize the adjective Awesome to describe itself throughout the duration of the association.  Stamped it.

Of course the strap held not only a solitary tube, a merely good strap could tether that, wrapped within the Awesome was also my trusty (and Awesome) Crank Brothers Pump (the ORIGINAL circa TR07 pump and not the most recent Breck09 pump).

With the tube/pump combo offered up, the strap lay ineffectual, spent on the ground.

Sadly the CBP was not to be re-inserted in it’s Awesome bed.
The CBP had become seized.  The how’s and the why’s of my neglect are unimportant.

With the lacerated tube, the failed CBP was handed to Bob with the explanation; “Tom wants this“.
As the refuse passed full circle (broken telephone like) the rest of us prepared to ride.

Tom, dutifully and without inquisition, placed the expired items in his pocket.
Tom is great.

Leaving me with one solitary item.
Like that, the Awesome Strap had unceremoniously been reduced to ‘just another piece of crap in my pocket strap‘.

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose”
Robert Byrne

That is when my genuine Awesome sized brain grabbed the situation by the strap.

Those hard to reach, ne’er be cleaned places.
Awesome can clean them.

Purpose restored.
Awesome is Awesome once more.

Little then was my surprise when I perused Thadington’s blog and stumbled across yet another something.
Something done Awesomely.

Those hard to teach, ne’er be controlled beasts.
Awesome can control them.

Purpose expounded.
Awesome is something and so much more.

The ultimate Awesome with a million, plus one uses.

Imagine my horror, a few days later (once again, encore une fois) reading Thadicus and…
Kerpow!
Thad declares that his Awesome application, was NOT actually a contrivance of his own design.

This was not Awesome-Thad-thinking at all.
It was DRAGONSLAYER.

A commercial product.

Like Christmas from a box.

HE’S A WHORE.
and how do we know he’s a whore?
A WHORE!
and what kind of whore might he be?
RETAIL WHORE.
and what does a retail whore look like?
A WHORE.
therefore?
HE’S A WHORE!

And that is how things today shall end…
I’ll be fucked if I can think of anything better.

A funny thing happened on the way to the blog today.

Initially intended to be an informative.
A boring piece.

Brief and descriptive.  For the purposes of educating, discussing, confusing and otherwise drifting to and fro.
A typical fodder.

‘Subtle as a rubber spoon‘ type marketing, devoted to the expressly undeclared purpose of emancipating plastic cash from the repressive confines of your ass pocket.
A public service.

The Topic:  Misfit Psycles diSSent (Al) Mk.iii

The be all to end all surrounding the status of the MisfitPsycles diSSent (Al), perhapsably the worlds greatest singlespeed 29er.  Ever.

• MisfitPsycle corporate consideration of model years
• diSSent (Al) current Mk.i/Mk.ii inventory
• diSSent (Al) Mk.iii delivery dates
• diSSent (Al) Mk.# dropout comparison

Misfit Psycles DOES NOT produce products in MODEL YEARS.
Misfit Psycles produces products in BATCHES.
If all goes well and as intended each of the batches will be a direct copy, subtle modification or potential improvement over the previous*.

*This should not infer to imply that any one batch intentionally or actually obsoletes the former.

This is life.  This is evolution.

A revolution in mass production, defiance of all that it is and shall represent.
Fight water with fire, co-opt the co-op, conform to defy…sell out but sell everything.

Buy the t-shirt.

In sometime and with any luck, it might be all about planned obsolescence.
Cash for cans.
We aren’t there.  Stay tuned.

Blog 101: One cannot discuss any topic under any circumstances without criss-posting, cross-pasting of alternative contents.
One could not, therefore, discuss model years without first searching out an appropriate model calender.

Blog 101: Make Google happy.  Google likes Google.  Use Google.  Google will not disappoint.
Capable of magically categorizing, classifying and connecting users to the most best and basest of all that the triple w has to offer.
Regression as innovation.

Carefully formulated and fortified with binary vitamins.
Google may not always provide users with exactly what they were looking for.
Instead, it always provides them with what they needed to find.

Case in point.

Two.  Words.
Vic.  Tory.

As if publicly reading it ‘for the articles‘ and purchasing the calendar (a calendar that one should never hang ironically) wasn’t enough.

Actually that, copulated with novelty soap is all anyone really needs to have in their desk drawer.

Thumbs up.

Out of time.

So, the (actual) intended topics…in 7 seconds or less.

• Mk.i available in SMALL only
• Mk.ii available in EXTRA LARGE only
• Mk.iii NOT released – QC issues
• diSSent (Al) dropout comparison can be found in unabashed, undiluted entirety HERE.

Furthermore.

Coupon code dissent100 has been re-activated and extended until October 31.

$101.01 off in stock diSSent (Al)

Somewhat so and so surprisingly, even a little bit to my amazement, the launch and declaration October 23rd for this years DelStalk-AntiRace 2009 has been the hip-hop-hottenest tropic* at LIESNSHITE.

* DelStalk and yes, some asshole freak-o’s continued obsession with; slave leia, pillow fight and leia porn

Impressive digits like links, clicks, dabs and inappropriate screen touching would all tend to indicate that this years event promises to be a mega-winner.

Mega-Winner:  The kind of FTW feeling that could only come from an 8 digit powerball jackpot, the subsequent 18 hour cocaine and hooker powered real-state/stock buying frenzy that culminates in the eventual admission that none of your numbers actually matched.

Even if winning is verboten.

In addition to all the photoshoppe pomp that the Empire can muster, many of the world’s upstream media outlets are now covering this prodigious celebration.

FAWK’S NEWS:

“These backwards communistal socio-cyclists of the frozen state of Canada are essentially deplorable and smell of pine.
Their behavior is ordinarily of the morally weak ilk.  They exude  perverse and unAmerican behaviors that, in events like this, this Anti-Thing, are magnified 6 score and 7 fold.  Organizers reward half-hearted efforts and intentional failures with stupidly splashed t-shirts and idiomoronical stickers.
FUCKTHESCENERY…No, you shut-up I say.
This lecherous event MUST be stopped.

If it is NOT, stopped, by us, REAL American type peoples, your children will die of tongue cancer.”
Bill O’Reilly

PEDAL MAGAZINE:

This is from the front page splash of PEDALMAG.COM (Canada’s Cycling Mag).
The original cut and paste broadcast is HERE.

Front Page?  Whoa that it is and huzza for the understated.
Sadly, editors for Pedal evidentially elected NOT to add a commentary or (more importantly) endorsement for the DelStalk/AntiRace un-event.

Implicit to this omission and by means of implication,  yours me’lly will be the solitary columnist of fact for the final synapse and un-official exposition.

MTBIKING.CA:

Slightly less prestigious and non-the-less commititory, MTBIKING.CA was also kind enough to include DelStalk/AntiRace 2009 on their EVENTS PAGE.

You were expecting more?

The question I have that must be answered.

What the what is wrong with Canadian Cycling Websites?
I mean that in the nicest, most observatory way…

RANDOM FIND:

And now for something less relatable.

CHOP SHOP.

Why PSYCLESTORE doesn’t look like that is beyond me.  (exhibit a)
I say again.
Why PSYCLESTORE doesn’t look like that is beyond me.  (exhibit b)
With feeling.
Why PSYCLESTORE doesn’t look like that is beyond me!  (exhibit c)

Sometimes this is the unintentional duplicity triplocity that makes writing such a wonderful thing.

(exhibit a) Why, oh why, is not mine own PsycleStore so grande?
(exhibit b) A site of that magnifico is well beyond my incapacities as a site builderer.
(exhibit c) When Tom acted as compitant-de-facto on the PsycleStore rework, why didn’t he assist in providing The Empire with a store of this equality?