A funny thing happened on the way to the post office the other day.

To avoid confusion, that day wasn’t today.

Although we did make a trip to the post office today as well.
And today, nothing funny happened.

Actually, nothing happened on the way to the post office so much the other day either.
It was more something funny that happened when we got to the post office.

Specifically, inside the post office.

Once we arrived inside  the post office, the other day, something (admittedly) entirely unfunny and all too ordinary happened.
But in a funny kind of way.

Not funny odd or funny peculiar as much as it (itself) would eventually set off a series of episodes later in the day that would reveal an oddly peculiar trend in inter-net-ual purchasing, as it applies to Misfit Psycles: PsycleStore.

As usual (at the post office) we dumped our shipments (carefully pre-sorted by service and country only to be hap-hazardly tossed into a singular bin) there were also a few parcels awaiting Misfit Psycles.

Could be anything.

Tartan Headsets, Soiled Briefs…that BOOK no one bought.

None of the above.
At least, not this time, but there were; gift things, cool things, educational things.

And.
One shipment marked NO SUCH ADDRESS: RETURN TO SENDER.

Not a big issue*.

Truth be told, shipping a shipment only to have it returned, happens less then 1% of the time.
The real trouble with this statistic is that this 1% ONLY constitutes the ones that our shipping and cc processing systems don’t catch.

More realistically 5% of the orders received by PSYCLESTORE contain an error in the shipping informations.

Of course in the history of these kinds of things, this never occurs maliciously.
To the best of my knowledge there isn’t a gang of cyber hoodlums that randomly harass merchants by purchasing goods only to have them shipped to a fictitious address.

Note: We do fully acknowledge that the purchase of items of an overtly sexual or otherwise embarrassing nature for the purpose of drop-shipping is humorous…assuming the package is DELIVERABLE.
The products designed by Misfit Psycles and sold by PsycleStore are NEITHER overtly sexual or embarrassing.  Are they?

More likely the error was caused by fat fingers, dyslexia, incompetence, rage against a 4 click checkout or whathaveyou.

A quick email from the Empire (to the customer) (usually) nets a prompt solution and shipment correction (or re-shipment*).

* When we say NOT A BIG ISSUE what we mean is that it doesn’t happen too often.  When we say SHIPMENT CORRECTION OR RE-SHIPMENT we generally mean PAYING a SECOND time to ship the parcel because of the ERROR.
On occassion and from time to time (depending on the size of the order, cost of shipping and just how stupid people have been) we have been forced to pass these costs along.

Problem located, customer is emailed, customer responds (with a resounding d’oh) and customer is forever flattered (by the personal service).
Problem solved, where’s the problem?

All too often and apparently increasingly, customers are NOT providing an email address that allows for impersonal webular contact.

They are either utilizing the same mental handicap (they employed on the address) to complete the email information or a they have elected to provide a bogus email with the transaction.
Undoubtedly to prevent malicious stalking and exploitation by the Empire.

What are we left with?  The last resort.

A telephone call.  Real live personal contact with voices and everything.

Now I don’t know what a long distance call to Texas costs.
But I do know that I don’t care when the order is for one cog.

In the end we are left with all of the transaction proceeds in the Empire’s numbered account, the product back in our possession and somebody (positively petrified at night by thoughts of PSYCLESPAM) scratching their head.

Lessons learned?

Probably nothing.

Mostly just venting thanks for coming.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 14th, 2009 at 15:37 and is filed under General Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.