At the best of times my opinions are of little to no consequence.

A long time ago at a pub not so far away I was asked about my opinions concerning the Niner Carbon Fork.

In this case, concerning this matter, my inconsequential opinion was wrong.

And the great wait began.

Not so long after, at the very same pub, I was informed that my assistance would be required to mount said fork onto a diSSent.

This is the first time I’d had my hands on the fork.
Uninstalled.
Carbon steerer and all.

And as it turns out there is ONE THING that frightens me more then the possibility of splattering down the trail with nothing more then a single pound of plastic and fiber weave keeping my chicklets from dislodging…

…that is, installing said for someone else.

Install it?
Don’t Install that.
Install it…

This was a question that was SERIOUSLY debated on the Court of Dingle prior to the events that you read before you.

Obviously the Niner Carbon fork is not the first carbon legged creature intended to be beaten on dirt…and as a regular user of the latter…the material in and of itself scares me not.

There are lots of pretty pictures, plenty of copulated calculations and 3d modelings…I’m not questioning their ‘homework’.

What’s wrong with carbon?
Nothing.  Persay.

It’s just…

Certain materials are made for certain applications.
Certain applications require specific designs.
Specific designs for each (reasonable) expectation.

Your results may vary, I will happily and blindly continue to repress innovation in favour of  convenience and complacency.
Deviating only when I can see the bottom.

There are reviews, claims, tests, naysayers and touters across the triple w surrounding the Niner fork.

This isn’t intended to be that.

I won’t be reviewing the fork.

I just installed the fork.

I will be riding a mere bikes length from the owner for the better part of the winter and the coming 2010 season (presuming he makes it).

I will NOT be developing an opinion outside of my initial opinion(s) on the fork (regardless of the final results).

For what it’s worth, knowing that the fork would be safe from random hammer attacks is somewhat reassuring…that sort of shit happens every time we ride the enchanted forest to that little slut Cinderella’s cottage.

These sort of demonstrations are integral assertions.

Before proceeding with the installation, you MUST read the installation manual.

A double digits worth of pages on pages of legalese.  If this manual was a manuscript it would be The English Patient.

No doubt a document intended to formally notify you of your litigious limitations and rider responsibilities…admittedly something that is sadly all to common place in the cycling industry.

That said, much like the design of the fork itself, this manual is groundbreaking by industry standards.

While I am not a legal scientist it is my assumption that short of Chris himself stabbing you in the heart repeatedly (with said fork) until you are dead, anything that happens while you are riding with the fork:

Could have happened, would have happened, was totally avoidable, was the result of misuse, miss-installation and certainly probably was something you should have pre-considered before it happened.

What’s wrong with carbon forks?
Nothing. Persay.

When restrictions and exclamations exceed factual data.
There just might be a problem.

One of the benefits with installing under such meticulous constrictions was that it allowed me to finally make use of my Mariposa PRO Torque Wrench.

Just how much is 2.2 Nm?
Not enough.

Yet apparently all too much.

The top cap shows signs of bubbling…ride at your own risk.
2.2 Nm…roughly the force it takes to crush a mosquito.  Or less.

No worry.  According the the disclaimer…instructions, that’s ‘pre-load’ only.

We’ll sort the still loose goose out with the stem bolts.
Right?

Torque the stem to manufacturers specifications.
Presumably the stem manufacturer…who designed the stem…not the steerer.

ACTUNG! CAREFUL.

Do NOT overtighten the stem.  You could damage the steerer and die a terrible death.

After much deliberation and consideration.  8.8 Nm it is.
Feels snug.
Could be tighter.
Should be tighter.
Could be too tight.

And now, the shuffling sound you hear is the Niner legal department washing their hands of this particular matter…grey town…population, your next of kin.

What’s wrong with an oversized carbon (road) fork for mountain use?
Nothing.  Persay.

In the end the fork looks outrageous.
And by outrageous I mean in a sick to wicked kind of way.

The bike is a full 2 lbs lighter then the cheap chromo number he had on prior.
The bike looks hot.
Surprised?

NINER, as anticipated, without compare, had one of the most impressive displays at Interbike 2010.

This is a company that knows their shite.
They know how to market their shite.
They know how to package their shite.
They know how to make you drool all over their shite.

It’s mob rule and totally glam.
It’s not wrong.
If that’s what floats your boat.

I don’t mind admitting that that kind of presentation and closure, the kind of blind desire driven purchase, achieved long before the shop floor and eons before the first ride, makes me incredibly envious.

I’ve repeatedly done things the back ways over.
Dirt up.
Because I’m stupid.  Because I’m poor.  Because I’m not first.

And for the record.
There’s nothing WRONG with wearing a white chamois after labour day.
Persay.

Just not for me.
Not then, not now.

COMING SOON:

Details on the Misfit Psycles CARBON and CHROMO forks for all your winter upgrade needs.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 16:54 and is filed under Access Hollywood, General Stuff, Interbike. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.