Ultimate Gift Guide: Personal

Perhaps you find yourself on this here late date still without the right gift for that cycle person in what is your pathetic excuse for a life.

Shame is hereby supersized and entirely non-refundable.

Being as today is the sub-nearo final (except for the grand-champion most ULTIMATE gift) day of gift suggestions…you really do have to pick one.
Then.  Make Merry.

Maca Root Shave Cream – Body Shop –  10$

Cyclist’s shave.  All of them.  Eastern European women, exemplified.  Sometimes those that shave do so further than others that do do.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.
This tiny little (125ml) tube will last well beyond the gunk clearing capacity of the vessels lid and orifice.  The mere presence of Body Shop Maca Root Shave Cream (in any)  toiletry bag screams I’m-a-man-of-beauty to all would be bag sniffers.
While my current personal usage is limited to facial follicles, having read further (the Macdaddy root) of it’s apparently amazing endurance like capacity, suffice to say it has led to considerations for optional applications.

Flask – In God We Trust – 50$

Beer is just not always trailable.  Whisky, more so.
A flask adds an aura of pomp to your circumstance and prevents those annoying shards of glass from imbedding in your soft tissue. Safety first.
Sadly, by the time we made it to press the Cheers Mother Fucker version of the flask was sold the fucker out.  All reasonable attempts were made to procure additional volumes…it is not to be.
True there is a POISON version.  There is nothing funny about poison.
Might we suggest a set of disposable flasks instead.

Kick Ass Coffee – Kicking Horse – 13.95$

Coffee.  Drink lots.  Be fast and poop regularly.
Your 6000$ Epic can be welded by bound babies and your carbon bars rolled on the thighs of Taiwanese school girls, but it is absolutely inexcusable to drink anything less then Fairly traded Organismic coffee.

Merino Wool Socks – Swiftwick – 13.95$

Just socks you say?
Hell no.  These socks have been genetically enhanced with genuine science to offer an unrivaled 5% increase in vitesse.
While this claim of performance enhancement remains entirely unsubstantiated for the most part, the other part is entirely accurate and not in the least fabricated.
Buy the socks.  They won’t regret it.

Fitted Yog’ah Hoodie – Lululemon – 88$

You were supposing that we would whore the more traditional black as speed hoodies?
Sure black is all the rage.  Sure the PsycleStore coupon code: zumbapants will get you 25% of all psycle clothing…
BUT.  It’s that’s kind of sub-haute-couture-sell-out that necessitates and justifates why my personal post-exertion hoodie is grey and slightly effeminate.
Fight the power.  Stick it to the man.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Cozy, comfy and when combined with a wide collection of Body Shop hygenic lotions, entirely cosmopolitan.

That is all for the mostly list.

If you’d care to see the list in it’s most entirely, CLICK ME!

Last up…The Supreme Ultimate Most Awesome Cyclist’s Gift.

Ever.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009 at 01:45 and is filed under General Stuff, Ultimate Gifts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.