The Misfit Psycles Corporation:
Cycling Genius, Roll Model, Provocateur, Guru and Poet.
Humbly driven by the solitary goal of making the world a better place thru the production and gorilla marketing of Singlespeed Components, Conversion Kits, Frames, Handlebars and any other bicycling fodder that can be easily and thoughtlessly mass produced and sold for a tidy profit.
WORLDWIDE and INTERNATIONAL HEADQUARTERS:
150 Bullock Drive
While we would like to thank you for your consideration please reconsider the following first:
- The Worldwide and International Headquarters of the Misfit Psycles Empire is NOT open to the public.
- The Empire is NOT a bike shop.
- The Empire does NOT want you and your brood dragging your crap into our oriface with requests to look at this or touch that.
- It is possible to arrange demo rides and COMPLETE bike pickups from the Empire – with advance notice – NOTHING MORE.
- The Swedish lesbian bikini cycling club being the only exception to all of the above rules.
Remember: All of you are very special to all of us at the Empire.
- We will endeavor to answer the phone as frequently as possible.
- Sometimes we are doing other things that we’d rather be doing.
- Sometimes we are occupied with other things we don’t like doing.
- Either way we didn’t NOT answer your call out of spite .
- PLEASE DO NOT TAKE VOICE MAIL PERSONALLY.
- In the event that you and others call too frequently about this and that the Empire reserves the right to farm out ALL telephonic operations to a call center in Dubai.
- Emails are responded to as quickly as possible.
- Possibly FASTER than voicemail.
- Usually within a few hours…as travel allows. See EVENTS if you are concerned or stalking.
- We will respond to your email with as much thought and courtesy as you managed to cobble together in the initial contact.
- The Empire reserves the right to treat those deemed by the Empire to be idiots AS idiots and/or publish excerpts of our interaction for the remainder of the Psycling public to enjoy.
- Faxes are not ever accepted.
- If you find our secret fax number and subsequently use it, we will delete your fax before printing it out of technospite.
- Get over this flaccid dinology and party like it’s casual Friday in 1999.
Masterfully and Respectfully,
Banal Genius, Esq.