The Empire has been silent for too long.
Placidly we have deferred, forcibly exerting our neutrality, but no longer.
For the love of all things cycling we need to cleanse this singlespeed scene.
Depose of the vagrants, bi-standers, drifters and BEGGARS.
THE PROBLEM:
Without a doubt you, or someone near to you, has been battered about the head with the sobbing plea’s of one RICH DILLON aka DICKY aka TEAM DICKY aka BAD IDEA RACING aka ASSFACE.
“I mean come on, I get up almost everyday before the sun comes up to type this drivel, and all I ask in return is that you take 45 seconds of your time to click this link and place a vote for me??? That seems like a fair trade, right??”
Is this some kind of passive aggressive mind play? If so please do help me understand…if I vote for him, will he STOP writing or is he vowing to write MORE?
What’s worse is he has somehow enlisted the service of previously intelligible informatic resources to blather in his interest. I am looking at you Pouch and Hawley Honey.
Plop.
This is the sound a blog makes when it hits bottom.
THE FACTS:
Neutrality is a matter of public record. The Empire is a master of disguises, a veritable mustache and glasses on two wheels.
In the interest of full disclosure and in advance of the impending UCI investigation, it is true. The Empire had previously enlisted the help of the other Carolinian, ARSBARS, to (in an entirely unsupported unofficial Contra type capacity) deal with the world’s Dicky problem.
Despite a sound and handsome advanced payment in the form of FU-ness, resolution is insubstantial.
FAIL.
THE SOLUTION:
Do NOT vote for Dicky.
Resist.
VOTE for Pedro.
Since hitting send, the Banal Ruler of the Official Psycle Empire is unofficially throwing his hat into the revised mix of the alternate contest.
THE JUSTIFICATION:
Well.
Spite. Mostly.
The Corporation would have taken care of that Dick in Breck…entry, travel, whatever. Before you go all pity-vote on his ass, remember, he wouldn’t be in the position of pan handling for entries if he hadn’t been swayed by glittery trinkets…
Isn’t that a sin?
Smite him!
Smite him like you have never smited before, smite until you can smite no longer!
The fool.
No related posts.
i am fully aware the deadline for submission to the contest has passed…what would be the point in applying like cattle?
something is soon to be rotten in the state of Dicky…
Mr. Keiller,
Could I please retain your services to similarly slander one Mario Lemieux? As you have likely heard, given your mastery of all things, I was recently discharged by this owner/overlord from my position as Chief Cook & Bottle-washeur in Pittsburgh. This guy’s been skating on his reputation for years.
Have you seen the employment statistics south of the border? I needed that job. Who is going to hire an aging French-Canadian whose only real skill is being able to yell in two different languages?
Merci beaucoup,
Mike
P.S. I voted for Tomi McMillar