Subsidizing Failure. Hopes of Victory.

I am no stranger to sustained and repeated failure.
I’ve done it much, I do it well.
I’ve grown comfortable with, if I’m not most partial to, it’s sting.

I excel at decelerating.

It’s not mere failure that constitutes my current cycling complication.

It’s the graphic (evidently intentional) journey through the stages of; laughing stock (A) to potential (B) to loser (C) to complete disappointment (D) that I despise the most…try to follow along.

A) Performing poorly, the result of inadequate fitness.

The utter offensiveness of the inevitable (result) is equivalently offset by the attaboy enthusiasm placed on your apparent resolve to compete again.

Comfort Rating:  Green - entirely too sad for criticism.
Associated Quote:  “Awww.  He’s (really) pedalling his bike.”
Achieved:  OCUP #1

B) Performing poorly, during a process of improvement.

The marginal (if unintentional) improvements in your fitness (be they the result of repeated effort or muscle memory) are duly noted and appreciated for what they are.  Not much.

Comfort Rating:  Yellow – patronizing criticism with intent to encourage only.
Associated Quote:  “Well.  You beat Barry and the corpse, who’s next on your list?”
Achieved: OCUP #2, Tuesday #5

C) Performing poorly, despite the addition of intent.

At some point, mid-failure, you achieve a flicker of enlightenment.  In that instant (mid-wince), you become cognizant of the entirety of your exertion(s).  You briefly reflect on the amount of effort expelled to achieve this particular failure.  Failure is acceptable you muse, inefficiency is not.  Without further adieu you piece together a loose schedule of intentional effort (training), like that, you’re trying.
People notice.  They snigger and smirk having successfully sucked you in.

Rating:  Red – effort, intent and failure represent the perfect storm for critical dissection and exclusion.
Associated Quote:  “You’re so slow, it takes you 60 minutes to ride for an hour.”
Achieved:  When I registered with STRAVA

D) Performing poorly, at the peak of personal fitness.

After much and possibly a few (extended) efforts you successfully achieve your intended level of personal perfection.  You push, your body responds.  You exert, your body recovers.  Riding is, once and again, enjoyable.  Your failure to achieve (in the performance results sense) is easily neutralized by the ease in which you achieve them (those lack of achievements).

Rating:  Green – entirely too sad for criticism.
Associated Quote:  “At least you finished.”
Achieved:  TBA

In summary.
I have reached level C.
I hate level C.
I hate all of the little people that have pushed me to be the level C that I am today.

This is not over.
I will soon be glaring down upon you all from my level D.

Ideally in time for BRECK2012.

Where I will not only finish, be it broken or dead, but I will laugh triumphantly in the faces of all those that have ever said I could do better!