Team Misfit Psycles: Affiliated in 2009
Despite the Corporation’s vastly popular (often imitated, easily duplicated) “cookie cutter, rebel with a double mortgage” approach to individuality, the Misfit Psycles Race Team of Flaming Death Lips has succumb to mounting political pressures.
Rather than face further seasons in cyclical exile or endure the indifferent glances of registrars or submit to undisclosed clip-boredom torture at the hands of commissaires…the Corporation’s Banal Monarch announced today that the TEAM (formerly and mostly known as ‘Misfit Psycles’), will be ostensibly yet ever-so graciously affiliated with the OCA (Ontario Cycling Association) for the coming season.
So why does such a powerful entity (The Misfit Psycles Corporation, indeed) NEED to affiliate with Ontario’s bureaucratic cycling equivalent of Martha Stewart?
- The Corporation has too many friends to ride unnoticed, unswaddled and uninsured (what???) and too few to topple the patriarch of organized events in this here land of Misfit.
- Martha harbors some pretty risk-ay buttoned down badness, afterall, THEY did allow for a single speed category. Not that OCA, this one did.
- The most compelling sales pitch EVER. There is no WHY, no FEATURES, no BENEFITS, no WHAT can we DO for YOU.
Just THIS and THIS is awesome:
Affiliating and maintaining a club is a serious commitment. Those who are not prepared for the dedication of collecting waivers, submitting membership lists, collecting fees, completing paperwork and enforcing rules should not apply to affiliate a club. We highly recommend reading all the forms and information posted in the GENERAL AND OCA CLUB FORMS section of the website. After reading the recommended literature, and you still have questions, please contact the OCA office.
These are all things that me truly excel at.
Truth be told I am making light of the evil that is the OCA.
They made me say that.
So I say this too, to make you think to yourself…maybe they are, maybe they aren’t or maybe they done did.
Bottom line, TEAM MISFIT RACING is a go!
The Misfit Psycles Racing Team of Flaming Death Lips is a PRIVATE CLUB and will ONLY offer exclusive membership as it sees fit – based on the following:
- Membership will be FREE to members SELECTED by the Corporation
- ALL members MUST purchase a FULL UCI or CITIZENS PERMIT from the OCA
- ALL members MUST list their TEAM as MISFIT PSYCLES when registering with the OCA
- ALL members MUST sign an insurance waiver
- ALL members MUST own and or RACE a MISFIT PSYCLES frame (road bizitches exempt – 2009)
- ALL members MUST purchase and WEAR the Jersey of DEATH (when released, link to follow)
- ALL members MUST provide their own groupies – and share
- ALL members MUST know and recite LEPPERISM’s as situations arise
- This CLUB is hereby known as a GANG. Hazing WILL be sanction, approved and REQUIRED by the Corporation for ALL new members
If you are interested, meet all the requirements and REALLY think that I wouldn’t be embarrassed by the association (be realistic or I will be and that hurts so much more) send me an email: email@example.com