We attempted to Feed the Dicky.
This was a Waste Management initiative and it was quickly marred by shitty accents and concrete Sidi’s.
We attempted to Uncorporate Euro-Dicky.
Basically. Fuck France.
We attempted the Ribbon BeCause.
Slow initial sales were a minor concern when compared to the ribbon’s eventual adoption and subsequent exploitation by SftPoCtP (obviously this is the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Penises).
There was even the Fan Club.
There was nothing remotely enticing or marketable about BeFriending Devilock Dicky.
We shall now attempt the greatest challenge of our generation. Operation Obliterate Shorties.
This. Our latest and greatest initiative is something near an dear to BOTH those afflicted with the terrible debilitating illness AND those normal folks straddled with their unsightly burden.
Until August 13, ONE DOLLAR FROM EVERY ORDER WILL GO TO FIND A CURE FOR SHORTNESS*.
*Failing a cure, the dollars collected will be allocated towards extermination. Or at least sterilization.