Straight out of this get gate I want to make it entirely clear and present to all, what you are about to read is an intentional attempt to counteract any and all niceties that could be (erroneously) construed as weakness following yesterdays (excellent) post: Do It For The Children.

I say that to be safe.
A disclaimer of sorts.
Because, as it so happens to be, a suggestion for a possible addendum has been made (on behalf of myself, by myself) to THIS CONTEST.

As an eventual result, it’s expected that LIESNSHITE will be bombarded by legions of hopeful (female) rider readers.

To the point.

It is entirely and totally everyones opinion (I have confirmed this all by myself) that way too much has already been made and said everywhere else about the rise of Enduro™.

Except.

Unlike last years Big Red Shit Button (The Fatty McFat Bike), Misfit Psycles has laid mostly on the lower side of Enduro™.

After all, who wants a repeat of all the couples of angry comments; ‘no, you’re irrelevant’ or ‘yeah, well you fuck off’ or ‘come to my fishing boat and you’ll die until you’re dead you dying dead fish boat fucker’, not me that’s who.

But then.

Ergon, a company we (generally and mostly) love for their Flagship Product, went and done did this:

Ergo Enduro™ Grips for Enduroing™

And, because bi-directional uni-handed Enduro™ Wack-up’n’down Rubbers aren’t enough.

They also did this:

You know what be Enduro™? If we Enduroed™ a saddle!

Well, fuck your money downhill.
They made a saddle.
And that saddle has a name.

I’m not sure I know what, if any, kind of influence Jeff Kerkove had in Ergon’s adoption of the Enduro™.

But.

I want to make it completely and entirely clear that any and all of those excuses/reasons/justifications have been tossed to the aside and I (on behalf of all of you), further the more, we (I on behalf of all of you) want to make it also known (to just him) that he isn’t doing enough to STOP IT.

Perhaps that was the mistake we (mostly me) made in the Fuck Fat Bikes Fornever campaign.
We failed to personalize it.
We didn’t hold a random, guilty by association, athlete responsible and accountable for the entirety of the genre in ridicule.

Never and not again this time.

Jeff Kerkove.
YOU need to kill Enduro™.

If you do.
About fucking time.

If you do not.
I’m going to comment the shit out of your blog. “eewww Mr Enduro™ is so Enduroy™”
Shit like that.

Then.

I’m going to draw bitch ass porn moustaches on all the posters I have of you.
That’s going to be equal parts mean and funny because I know you can’t grow one.

Bam.

Zing.

Jeff Kerkove Ergon Enduro™ Athelete

Your move, Mr Enduro™.

 

 

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